The "what I want to be when I grow up" job!!

let me begin with what a pleasant surprise it was viewing my blog with comments!! Thanks guys!! - man though, I guess if I dish it out I need to be able to take some criticism too. I apologize for not blogging enough or razzing cows in western Kansas (it was a shock to see the cattle prisons but I'm sure there are happy cow farms out there too!!). Jill - we miss you too and want to come up to KC at xmas time - we'll work something out. We had an AWESOME time in Dallas (I'll post pics this afternoon), we visited the Zoo, science museum, JFK museum, hockey game, big mall...it was as good as I thought it would be.

Now....the big news.... I got a new job!! I will be the new full time television producer for KPTS (the local PBS station). Man, I am SO excited. I've wanted to be a full-time producer for forever and I LOVE PBS (watch for me on many annoying pledge breaks to come). It's going to be a change to move from suits to jeans. but it'll be great to be out there shooting and editing every day. The gang over there are fabulous and I'm just so excited!!! Stay tuned for video clips of my productions and great production gossip stories!!

Giving Thanks in Dallas - a random post

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not as creative or witty, or committed as I'd like to be in these blogs. I think the lack of commitment may contribute to the lack of creativity and wittiness but the jury's still out. It's a little depressing as well to constantly see "no comments" on every posting...like why bother writing when no one's reading? I have NO idea how many people actual read this thing so speak up and encourage me to keep on truckin if you like-a what you read-a (pathetic attempt at wittiness). We are off to Dallas tomorrow for a little vacation. we have no agenda besides catching the Stars and Maple Leafs hockey game (what a "Canadian" thing to do given the fact the virtually the whole rest of the country wil be watching football). Euge and Josh will take in the Grapevine Skatepark with half-pipe ramps big enough to earn Euge's approval. I plan to veg..alot...work's been as hectic as it always has been, and the house, pets and kids never seem to get any easier. I will forever remember these years as the "tired" years - happy, but tired. A few days away from it all will do us all some good- my friend Jessie offered up her place and she's coming up to Wichita for the weekend - truly a noble gesture to turn your house over to a family with 2 little kids - eek!! (I plan on keeping the kids in the car upon arrival and putting away all the breakeables right away). So...no schedules..no cooking...no housecleaning ...no pets (we got the pet sitter)....and no work. Sure, the whole extended-family, home-cooked thanksgiving-thing has a lot of bonding moments we'll miss...but we'll have to make do with a stress-free buffet brunch, hockey game, and sight-seeing. haha.

Coincidences, Connections, Craziness

You know the 'Six Degrees of Seperation" rule - well, in Wichita, Kansas it's "one degree of seperation". This means that no matter who you meet here, you'll both have at least one friend/aquaintance in common. This has ceased to amaze me after living here a while (I used to proclaim "you're kidding I know them TOO!! so much I started annoying myself) - it's a small City and subcultures are tightly connected - but a coincidence this past weekend blew my mind. We were at Benton Airport for Eugene's dept. picnic (super fun - Josh got his first plane ride in a Stearman Bi-Plane) and a cool-looking couple show up. The guy had a friend who was a pilot at Benton who told him that there was an event going on that days (ours) and he might be able to score some free place rides. The plane rides were over but once the Stearman Pilot (Sam Gaymar the ex-astronaut who'se been up in space 3 times and comes straight out of the movie "the right stuff") learns that the visitor-guy is originally from Poland, he takes him over - on the tractor of course - to the neighboring house, where there are four Polish student pilots living there. Sam takes the guy (I can't remember his name - let's call him "Sal") into the house and to go meet the students. One of the students looks at "Sal" strange and says "wow, I used to know a "Sal" back in Poland, he was my next door neighbor. "I know" said "Sal", "I'm him." Can you believe that? Two next door neighbors from Poland meeting up in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. The world is a small place and if you're open to opportunities and willing to take a chance, you can make connections everywhere you go!

GREEN TIP OF THE DAY: In honor of "Blog Action Day" I'm referring you to some environmental blogs that are popular on Blogspot - take your pick and read one - there's a blog listed for every taste and interest:

http://greenfuture.blogspot.com/ - Thoughts on the coming of a society that is in balance with nature.

http://consciousearth.blogspot.com/ - Earth-centered news for the health of air, water, habitat and the fight against global warming.

http://greenskeptic.blogspot.com/ - Devoted to challenging assumptions about how we live on the earth and protect our environment.

http://thelazyenvironmentalist.blogspot.com/ - Sustainable living made easy.

Wanted: Friends

I was just sifting through some facebook pics and blogs of people I know and made an unsettling discovery - I am devoid of a "friend clan". See, being a transplant, having 2 kids, working full-time and volunteering extra tiome with media-related undertakings (Visioneering, film fest, etc) is great for my career life, but has done nothing for my social life. In Oregon, Eugene and I had an awesome pseudo-family of friends - they were all transplants too, all had little kids, and were all liberal "screw the system" hipsters. We all had little kids, celebrated holidays and birthdays together and just had a blast hanging out. God, I didn't realize how much I missed that until now. I'm a super-social person - but I don't think I've set aside the time and energy neccessary to invest in any meaningful relationships with people here (the one I did have moved away - damn you Jil!!) - especially other couples with small children, and I admit, it's kind of lonely. So, I'm being proactive and putting out a call for entries - if you are fun-loving, fairly liberal (sorry, bush-lovers not allowed), have or like small humanoids, and enjoy get togethers at various places around town - we're in!!

Stuff

I took these pics over the weekend - Genevieve and her stuff. She can't go anywhere without carrying some sort of makeshift purse and a plethora of crap. I worry these tendencies will turn her into a "bag lady" when she gets older - or at the very least a pack-rat.

My editorial advisor (Euge), is insisting I write about yesterday's windshield-wiper fiasco. Our windshield wiper had fallen off last week and in true Lardizabal-Jenkins style, we didn't bother (or know how) to replace it until it started pouring rain yesterday on our way home from the mall. So of course I can't see anything and we turn into the nearest cull-de-sac to avoid crashing into whatever we can't see. Anyone who lives here will groan when I mention that the neighborhood we are driving through is Eastborough. This is a neighborhood that has such a superiority complex that it became its own city....in Wichita. It has its own police, piddly "City" hall, and a speed zone of 20 MPH just so that the police (who have nothing else to do) can nail anyone who goes even 5 miles over that (my theory is they use the money to throw a "we're so great" party every year complete with radar guns as party favors). So anyway..we drive under a tree to avoid getting totally soaked and Eugene hobbles out (his ankle is still bandaged up and he has one of those cast-boot things on) to try and put the windshield wiper on. After about 3 minutes of sturggling and getting wet, the house we're parked next to opens its garage dorr and there's a family standing there. The wife proceeds to yell at Eugene that we're parked on their lawn (like one tire was on their grass) and to get off their property. Imagine this scene for a couple of minutes - a guy in a cast in the pouring rain with his family in the car, trying to put a windshield wiper blade on and all they can do is stand in their garage and yell at us? This is a great opportunity to warn those of you out there about the power of Karma. If you see such an opportunity to help someone in need and do not take it - well, you know the saying "Karma's a Bitch?" - enough said.

school schedule mayham

Sometimes I think it would be easier to give up fighting the system, quit my job, and spend the day shuttling my kids back and forth to various committments b/c it sure seems like the schools do not want both parents working. I found out yesterday when I picked up my son at 5:15pm, that he doesn't have school for the rest of the week. They're doing the "DIAL" mandatory testing on each kid for half an hour each and apparantly they can't handle conducting regular classes at the same time. Now I admit, I got the letter home saying they're doing this testing and that Josh wouldn't have "regular classes", but I didn't interpret that as "no school at all for three days straight". I've been spoiled with preschool, where, if your kid doesn't have class, he goes to Adventure Club: the after-hours care. I have Josh in "latchkey" (God I hate that term being a lowly latchkey child myself during my elementary and middle school years) and they posted their notice YESTERDAY AFTERNOON that there would be no latchkey Wed, Thurs or Fri. Now, Euge and I are transplants here, which means no family or close ties with moms that have nothing better to do than watch our kid for 3 days straight. I couldn't skip work for the rest of the week and neither could Euge. I thought fast and raced to preschool daycare where I begged the admin head (literally crouched and had hands in praying motion with a pitiful look) to take Josh in the preschool class. The Gods must have been smiling on me because it turns out a kid was sent home throwing up that day and that meant there would be a space for Josh today (the Gods were obviously not smiling down on him - wonder what he did?). Thurs and Fri looked good too. Now I have to find a way to take him to his scheduled testing time tomorrow morning, when I have 4 meetings scheduled back to back at the same time (I already called Euge and he has an appt with an orthopedic surgeon he's waited 3 months to get). I think I'll leave it in the hands of the Gods again (you can tell I'm a huge Battlestar Galactica fan), I'm too tired to stress about it.

Hockey time in Kansas

My little guy starts "Hockey Skills" Class tomorrow - I can't believe how excited I am - you'd think he just got drafted by the NHL or something. I think it's inbred in Canadians to put their kids in Hockey - I say "kids", not boys, because last time I went home to PEI it seemed there were just as many girls playing hockey as boys - awesome stuff. Euge and I were a little apprehensive about Josh's skill level and how he'll do tommorow, but after taking him skating for his last practice on Saturday, we feel better. I think we've officially graduated to the next level of parenting: the "teach your child a skill and and follow-through" type of parenting - which we've never done before. We're the reigning kings of half-baked parenting - one swim session here, one bike-ride there, 3 weeks of rock climbing, then 4 weeks of basketball - it's like we're actually passing on our ADD to our poor kid, who will never really learn how to do anything well. It was different with skating though- there's a lot monre at stake. There's the money involved (actually the grandparents bought the skates and equipment - amazing grandparents ), then there's the time involved to learn how to simply skate, and then there's the whole cultural thing. We faithfully took Josh to the rink twice a week for an hour each time - and each time we saw him get better and better. We added his equipment on piece-by-piece to get him comfortable skating in it and by the time last Saturday came along, he was zooming around the ice with full-equipment. I know this is so mom-ish but he was SOOO CUTE. I can't wait until tomorrow to see him in action. As a reward for all the hard work he (and us!) put in, we bought NHL tickets to see the Dallas Stars take on the Maple Leafs over thanksgiving weekend in Dallas. The seats are in the front section and I'm telling ya - as a Canadian, it'll be worth every penny!!

lippy

Have you ever bitten the inside of your lip, and then KEEP biting it accidently whenever you eat? it's...really....annoying (and painful). I am housekeeping my office this week - color-coding files, getting rid of documents from 2005 that I"l never need (until I throw them out of course). It's all very liberating and feng-shui-like. I think I'll buy a plant over the weekend and name it Hank.

Green Tip on-a-budget tip - start your own office-recylcing effort if no one recycles office paper. I take 3 boxes from work every Friday and recycle most of it but then I always have paper available as well for my own home printer, kids' art projects (paper-mache heads!!), and paper in general. You'll actually save money on this one and your eco-concious efforts will rub-off on others (my co-workers are now very good at putting all their office paper in the recycling boxes).

b-day weekend

As far as over-30 birthdays go, this was a pretty good b-day weekend. Ran the Wichita half-marathon (started feeling the blisters that now cover my right foot at mile 6 so that was not too much fun), had brunch at Ben and Sam's (AWESOME food - like "I can't believe my luck at be-friending gourmet chefs" food), and went out for Japanese steak house last night (the kids LOVE it). We were supposed to go up for a flight with Euge but the winds were really strong and sitting on the runway in that rinky-dink plane, my gut just felt uneasy. I looked over at Eugene and I could tell he was torn about what to do. The winds were really borderline "too strong to fly" but that plane was rocking pretty good and we were still on the ground! After a few minutes and checking the weather again he looked over and said "I just don't feel comfortable". He made a good call as the "Pilot in Command" - I was pretty proud of him and really relieved this birthday wouldn't potentially be my last! haha.



running...and running....


Finishing at last!!



Behaving ourselves at the Japanese steak house


The chef putting on the show


Catch the Shrimp!


Where did it go??

Ode to Oprah

I recently started using my DVR for good things (not that Spongebob, Dora and Diego are bad but after 60 saved episodes of each it becomes turtuous). I started recording Oprah to watch after I put the kids to bed. Watching the shows again was like being re-united with a former BFF. I admit it, I LOVE the shmaltzy "we can all be winners...live your best life...accomplish your dream" shtick that she spoon feeds us every day. It's like wrapping yourself in a warm fuzzy blanket. I laugh, cry, cheer and get totally sucked in and begin living the gospel. I've followed Dr. Oz's advice and rid my fridge of foods containing sugar, enriched flour and partially hydrogenated oil. I try to "pass it on" every day and do good deeds for strangers (some days smiling politely at chronic compainers is the best I can muster), I even started believing that maybe I can accomplish my own dream of being a successfull freelance video producer/journalist, live on the ocean or in the mountains (I'm not too picky -either will do), travel the world with my pilot/rocket scientist husband and gorgeous kids during the summer, all while being deliriously happy and then featured on Oprah herself! OK, OK, I agree, a lot of it is totally fake and corny, but I've realized that Oprah's biggest appeal is that it inspires you. You see every day people doing wonderful things, and it takes a little away from the sayings "I could never accomplish that" or "what can I do? I'm only one person." It's a great escape into optimism and I always want to accomplish a little more after watching. And after retiring up to the bedroom, guess what I can read before going to sleep? You know it - the "O" Magazine!

Thrifty Green Tip: Don't idle your car - it's a myth that cars burn more gas starting up than sitting there idling. If you're waiting for someone or something, just turn the engine off. You'll save emissions, AND gas money.

Better late than never

I hawked newspapers for United Way last week outside my work. Denise Neil (a columnist at the paper) was there too, so we hung out and made the best of it. Most of the time I was there (6:30am-8am) it was dark and quiet. The DJ from Power 93FM was there too and I love how they always make it sound like there's a BIG party going on wherever they are - I mean I wanted to go there too until I realized I was there and it was just the three of us, and a random car that would try like hell to avoid eye contact until we pretty much had to jump on the hood waving like idiots. Denise just emailed me the pictures she took and I guess I'd better abandon any plans I have to do any sign-holding jobs after looking at that first picture - nice. I redeemed myself in the second picture though.

In other thoughts...Joshua's teacher asked to speak to us last week after school (uh ohhhhh), but it was good news. Seems Josh scored so far off the charts in the mandatory reading comprehension tests that he will now be spending a few hours each day with, not first graders, but SECOND graders! If you're a diligent blog reader you'll know that I predicted my son was a genius way long ago.

I watched the Travel Channel last night, which is a big deal b/c the kids take it hostage over the weekend until I'm stuck with the theme song of "Diego and Dora" stuck in my head for the rest of the week (why does Dora get only a "backpack" when Diego gets to have a "rescue pack?" - sexist). Anyways, the program showcased the natural wonders of the earth - Amazon River, the Gadaloupe Islands (spunds like that anyhow), and the world's tallest waterfalls in Venezuela - MAN I wanted to go see all of them - I'm a traveler at heart and have been fighting the desperate urge to go off travelling again. I used to go overseas every year until the kids - yes joys of my life etc etc - how can I find a job travelling and producing TV programs? ahhhh, Travel Channel! Now I need to convince Euge to move to DC - NASA's Goddard Flight Center is there, should be a cinch.

Green Tip of the Day - The Eagle did an awesome 2-page article on re-useable shopping bags (I know, everyone outside of Kansas is like "well duhhh"), but local folks - these are great. They costs under $2 each and save plastic bags from polluting lakes, or just sitting in landfills for like thousands of years (they don't desintegrate). The reuseable bags also save the energy and resrouces going into making the plsatic ones. They're stronger, save you a ton of trips back and forth unloading your groceries and they're totally hip right now - you'll be the envy of the parking lot!! Dillons Marketplace sells them now, and offers recycling for plastic bags. Just get one or two each grocery trip you make and you won't feel the cost at all.

Back in Time

As part of my "Duties as Assigned" at work, I'm working half-time at Old Cowtown Museum - It's a living history museum that's in bad need of a facelift. We had a special VIP kick-off event yesterday and I decided to have fun with it. I got help with the costume closet and dressed up in 1880's period dress. OK, if you're a good sport and a tad narcissistic like me, this is a great gig. As one of the "Townfolk" I had people approach me, get their pictures taken with me, and just smile a lot more than usual. I adhere to the Sesame Street principle of "the more we get together, the happier we'll be", so I had a great time. I was also so impressed in talking with the other real-re-enacters, how dedicated and passionate they are about the place. Most have been volunteering for like 10 years and just love it (this is like EVERY weekend without pay). I can see a little now why they love it - it's a little bit of an escape, like playing house in a make-believe little town that's life-size!. I had fun during my time there and can now say I think it's a place worth visiting - just slow down and be sure to spend some time talking to the interpreters - their knowledge and attitude are a welcome change from the hectic pace of everyday life.

Blogger's Block

I know I know...bad blogger....BAAAAD blogger...This is a great examploe of putting too much pressure on myself. I was so set to re-vamp the tired old blog, to launch the New, Improved "Dot on the Map"...To incorporate a constant theme....That I instead became overwhelmed and did nothing. Then I realized:

No one reads this stupid blog but me (oh and Jennifer - Sorry Jen!!).

My life just ISN'T that interesting.


I really don't have the time or energy needed to make this a must-read


So...if you like random thoughts, stupid pictures and random postings, this is the place for you!


Things I thought to write about this past weekend:


Web Videos: I happened to teach a series a video production workshops to our newspaper, and know that all the papers and TV news sites are jumping on the "must have video on our site" bandwagon. But I realized over the weekend that the vast majority of us still use the internet to 1. read gossip (MSN's most clicked heading), 2. watch STUPID videos, 3. find out if that icky-looking rash is really leprosy or not (God bless webMD).

Kansas State Fair: Check out the pics above. OK, word of advice to the Kansas Tourism Bureau: do NOT, I repeat NOT use the fair to profile how culturally enriched Kansas is. All I can say is 6 teeth per family (my facebook page has a great video of the pig races if you're interested).

My son and my bum: He loves it, I don't know how to handle the obsession. He'll hit it, hide behind it, laugh at it, what's the deal? I happen to think I have a pretty great booty myself - is it wrong to be flattered? Five is a very obnoxious age.

Cheap Green Tip of the Day: fill big water bottles and put them in the back of your toilet - it costs nothing, takes 15 minutes and will save you gallons of water every day.

Stay Tuned for more fascinating random thoughts!!

Va-Cay-Yay!!

Tomorrow I am going on Vacation to one of my most favorite places in the world - Banff, Alberta. We're actually going to be camping with Eugene's parents in Kananaskis Country but it's all the same - tons of mountains, wildlife and nature. I won't bore you with all the wonderful details but here's a list of things I look forward to:

- No work for 2 weeks - AND no cell phone or blackberry service in the mountains (so REALLY no work b/c these days we all know how that goes).
- No cleaning or cooking!!!
- Built-in Babysitters! (Eugene's parents)
- Scenery that goes up (aka mountains)
- trail running
- Visiting the Columbia Icefields on a cool ice-climber bus
- Early morning hikes in the mountains
- Downtown Banff
- Seeing my family (again! - my sister lives in Calgary and my brother's visiting)
- getting to spend more than 2 hours a day with my family.

Pictures to make you jealous (from top): Kananaskis Country where we'll be camping, Banff Springs Hotel (where we got married!), Downtown Banff.

My Inner Child

I made it back from PEI this week. It was a marathon of a trip - Leaving Wichita on Thursday morning at 7am and driving 3.5 hours to Kansas City (3 hours at the speed limit my ass Mapquest!), Flying to DC, Customs in Halifax, then driving 3 hours (actually my brother Jon drove) to PEI to FINALLY arrive at 3 in the morning. My brother's currently living in PEI, and my sister Alyson flew in on Saturday morning. The three of us being together is always a pretty wild time - I honestly don't know many siblibngs who are more loyal to each other than we are - we will tease and fight with each other but God help anyone else who tries to come between us. PEI has some pretty strong emotional ties for all of us -The Jenkins' have lived in the same little community in PEI for eight generations - I kid you not - we were on PEI before the bloody Vikings. I spent the happiest and saddest moments of my childhood there and everytime I go back there's no other way I can describe it but "home". How can a place create such strong emotions? It is the memories? the familiarity? The family roots? Whatever it is, I cannot be cured of it. They say maritimers are among the most loyal people to their birthplace. Most of them leave when they figure out they need to make a living and "Unemployment Insurance" is among the top career choices available, but they ALWAYS come back. We have a couple of friends from Newfoundland who were living out the American dream in Oregon - she was a well-paid nurse, he was a well-paid engineer, they lived in a big house, rode around in a convertible and went sailing on their sailboat on the weekends. But, being from Newfoundland, home called to them and they could not ignore it. They're currently fighting storms, waves and physical reserves to sail up the East Coast back to Newfoundland - the Northern tip mind you - to settle and take over the family business. This dedication and loyalty to one's roots gives me hope. I worry about the loss of culture and identity in our homogenous society. I am inspired by my friends' loyalty and commitment to their culture and their home. Being home this last time has also settled some conflicting personal issues for me and helped me decide to also be loyal to my roots. That's why next year, I'll be introducing my past to my children, when I take them to PEI for the summer. They'll meet a whole family they didn't know they had, play in the ocean, pet farm animals and eat garden-fresh vegetables. They will help keep my past alive, and also help bring it into the future.

Gramma Jean

Well it's 9:30pm and I'm packing to head across the country into a different country tomorrow morning. My gramma Jean died this morning - she went to sleep last night and just didn't wake up - she was 88, no major health issues, still lived in her house and drank beer straight from the bottle - we all loved her. I haven't even had time to be sad about it, since I've been to busy dealing with work, teaching, groceries and the logistics of "how in the hell am I going to get there by tomorrow night?". PEI is not the easiest place to get to. A flight from here to there costs $1500 (I know!!). So, after spending an hour on the phone this afternoon with Eugene and comparing online travel sites and airfare prices ("change the date, ok, now change the destination airport, ok now change the arrival airport"), I found a "clearance fare" from Kansas City to Halifax, Canada - a 2.5 hour drive away from PEI - for $700- we shuffled the credit card balances around and grabbed it. Thank god my boss was really understanding and there was no crises going on at work this week (but there goes my easy "rest of the week" - read previous blog below). I'll take the camera - my family should provide some amusing photo opps for sure - and report on how it all went when I'm back on Tuesday.

Super mom - Yeah Right

I apologize to my loyal readers (yes, you two) that I haven't written in a while. You can usually assumer super-bloggers are really busy when they haven't written in a while (or else they're just in a lame patch and have nothing to write about). I know I'm lame, but I've also been super busy - teaching a kids documentary filmmaking camp (awesome), producing a video for our congressman and chair of the National Endowement of the Arts (also awesome), Flying around in an airplane (more on that later), planning out an editing workshop I'm conducting tommorow at the Eagle, sending out invites for a pizza party for my 5-year old on Friday night with 10 of his closest friends, - oh and I also have a full-time job, 2 kids, husband, dog and a house that never seems to get fully cleaned.

"Wow, how impressive" you might say, or "how does she do it?" - well...I can't.

Things came to a bit of a climax last night. I had worked all wekend on a "wichita's Public Art is great!" video, spent Sunday running 5 miles in the morning (oh yes - I'm in training for the sept. half-marathon), 3 hours at the airshow (105 degrees on the tarmac), and then racing to meet the DC folks at the art museum at 3:30. I knew I had a full day on Monday and I also realized I was expected to attend the post-event dinner at 6-8pm. Now, I signed my daughter up for swim classes on Mondays at 5:30 to have some mommy-Genevieve time and I was adament I could do both. So there I was racing from work after a full day of events and presentations, picking up my daughter at daycare, throwing Capri Sun and Gogurt (best invention ever) at her to choke down in the car on the way to the Y. I got through the class with her, got her dry and changed in break-neck speed, while also trying to look my best with wet hair and bad makeup, met my husband (who was getting certified in belaying because Josh has taken up rock climbing), and left her crying in his arms (" No work mommy, no work again"), I sped half-sobbing to the hostess' house, where I downed 2 glasses of wine and did my best to be charming and hob-nob with the DC crowd. Uggghhhh.

You know what's really sad? This scene is actually pretty typical of many moms out there. We grew up with our moms working and not "being there" for us and vowed not to do the same for our kids, But then we get out in the real world after college and realize that most of us either have ambitions of our own, or just plain have to work to keep a roof over our head, so goddammit we can do both. The fact that I spent 30 minutes in swim class makes up for the fact that I couldn't put her to bed right??? I spend the weekend doing fantastic, exciting things with them to make up for working all week - that evens things out right?? We fly up to Canada and spend 2 weeks with the grandparents to make up for the fact that they are not around for the rest of the year - the exciting vacation makes up for it right?

There are no easy answers out there - It is fiscally and emotionally impossible for me to stay at home with the kids - Euge and I are ambitious, active people and we like to do things that usually cost money. But we are also assessing our values and trying harder to live our lives by what's really important to us. I hope we can find a middle road and alleviate some of the guilt on my part - which interestingly enough, Eugene feels none of - another paradox of dads and moms' roles in society...but that's for another day!


In other news...Euge finally got his Private Pilot's Liscence and took us all up for a flight on Saturday!! I was initally nervous but settled down right after we started taxiing down the runway - The "pilot" was all professional and cool and he totally knew what he was doing. The flight was awesome - I was totally impressed with my husband - he rocks!!

Attention Everyone

I've been having a hard time focusing on things lately. Thoughts race through my head at lightning speed and and I have trouble concentrating on one thing at a time. I was watching TV yesterday when a commercial came on for Adult ADD. There was a lady in a meeting at her work and her thoughts were wondering around aimlessly and her boss had to snap her out of it. "I have found the answer" I thought - "I have adult ADD".

My intensive research into the matter (google) came up with a handy selection of questionnaires that you simply fill out to determine of you in fact, do have adult ADD. Sample yes/no/sometimes questions included:

1. At home, work, or school, I find my mind wandering from tasks that are uninteresting or difficult.
2. I say things without thinking, and later regret having said them.
3. I fidget or squirm with my hands or feet when I have to sit down for a long time.
4. I have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done.

OK now I was convinced, I really DO have adult ADD. With each questionnaire came a handy drug associated with it to soothe your uncontrollable impulses and put those fidgety hands at ease. Strattera claims it delivers focus, calmness and is non-habit forming. Sign me up!! Ohhhh...but then I read about the side effects - Nausea, Tiredness, liver damage and (my personal favorite) suicidal thoughts. Hmmm...fidgeting vs. wanting to kill myself - that's a real pickle. Luckily there were plenty of other drugs out there, but they all pretty much came with the same negative baggage. I then logged on to the National Resource Center on AD/HD (attention-Deficit Hyper-Activity Disorder) and it stated that "unfortunately, there is no simple test (like a blood test or a short written test) to determine whether someone has AD/HD....Accurate diagnosis is made only by a trained clinician after an extensive evaluation. This evaluation should include ruling out other possible causes for the symptoms involved, a thorough physical examination, and a series of interviews with the individual (child or adult) and other key persons in the individual's life (for example, parents, spouse, teachers, and others)."

That got me thinking about those questions listed above - I mean, am I crazy to assume that we all try to avoid boring tasks, say things we later regret and squirm once in a while? Maybe I'm just in complete denial but those tendencies all sound pretty...dare I say..normal? I'm sure there are legit cases of Adult ADD out there, but I worry that these drug companies are encouraging people to take drugs who may actually just be just bored at work. As for me, I'm going to keep practicing my meditation, really work at calming my mind (no more 3-cup of coffee days), and I heard that fidgeting actually burns tons of calories - so I'll keep squirming away!!

Summer Time!!

Wow - I can't believe summer is upon us. Here in Kansas we've had such a wet Spring that it hardly seems real that it's almost the end of June - normally I'd be peeling the clothes away from my skin it's so hot and humid here (the first time I visited Wichita I wondered how anyone could have decent hair.) As you may have already gleemed from previous posts, I'm a hyper goal-oriented person that needs constant and ever-changing tasks to stay amused. Yes, it's a throwback to a childhood filled with a TV for a babysitter, a real dutch babysitter that would feed us milky, sweet coffee and sugar sandwiches for snack (mmmm...sugar...), and an unstable adolesence to say the least (we won't even go there). Anyhooo... I'm not going to use excuses for being a little crazy but instead embrace the fact that I'm always up for trying something new, look forward to challenges, and have a lot of positive energy to keep up with my darling (ahem ahem) children, husband and job.

So..Summer Goals?

- Read a couple of great books - Nothing inspires me like reading about someone else's adventure through life and having a life-altering experience that makes them a changed, but better person - I'm open to suggestions.

- Watch a couple of great documentaries - again, open to suggestions

- Take the fam. to Oceans of Fun in Kansas City - our family LOVES waterparks

- Become involved in our local film commission - it hosts our annual film festival (http://www.tallgrassfilmfest.com/) that is growing every year and it's a great opportunity to meet more film and video folks.

- Learn to relax more and enjoy the moment.

- Do something video-related every day - I need to hone my craft (which is also my passion and fules creativity and happiness).

- Go on more dates with my husband - sometimes the ones dearest to us are the ones we take for granted the most.

- Get the family to try more new things - there are a lot of cool things happening in Wichita (which I learn about thanks to my newspaper and online news site (www.kansas.com). Every weekend is filled with free, fun and interesting things to do. I'm really commited to getting out and supporting local efforts at revitalizing our downtown area.

- not over-plan and over-goal.

yay for summer!!

1 week Meat-Free

Well it's been one week living meat-free for me. Thoughts:

- I didn't lose a pound, but feel much lighter.
- I have more energy and don't feel as sluggish as I usually do after I eat.
- I haven't had this much gas since I was pregnant (they say this will "pass" - haha)
- overall, I think it's a good start and I've decided to stick with it.

I didn't fare as well on my other goals of cutting out sugar, salt, caffeine and other fatty foods. I've really tried limited my dairy consumption to low-fat or fat-free, and I haven't been adding salt to foods, which is an accomplishment - for me anyways. I feel like I'm cheating since I still eat fish, but maybe I'll start decreasing that too (but not shellfish - never!!). I have certainly eaten more veggies and fiber than before, and my body feels good for it. I also feel good about the switch from an environmental standpoint and ethical standpoint. The only thing that had always bothered me about vegetarianism was the perceived self-righteousness that goes along with it. I'm going to take the advice of the Dalai Lama - he says that buddhists should always practice vegetarianism and look for a vegetarian option, but if none is avaliable, you are to to accept, be grateful, and eat the food that is presented to you - meat-free or not. I like this because my upbringing would never allow me to turn down a meal someone prepared for me as a guest in their home because I decided to become a vegetarian (I know this seems wimpy and I do respect those who feel differently).

Enough about me - Eugene got his Private Pilot's Lisence - hooray!! I think it is so cool that he accomplished something most people just put on their "things to do before I die" list and forget about. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's a flight test engineer - unfair advantage. Maybe I'll get my liscence to and we can be like the "Danger Bay" family (Canadians would get this reference to beloved CBC cheesy favorite) and all fly planes and helicopters simultaneously :)

My little Scientist

I hate to hurt the feelings of all you parents out there but I have to be honest - my son is the smartest kid in the world. The sooner everyone accepts this, the better off we'll all be. Honestly though, I was pretty amazed at him yesterday. After an elaborate treasure hunt my husband concocted (yes, we are those types of parents - crazy), Joshua was allowed to cash in the jar of coins he found and spend them any way he wanted at Toys R Us. Of all the things he saw and could have, he decided on a Junior Scientist kit. Needless to say I was a little surprised - and humbled. This is not MY child. I would have straight for the mini-trampoline and spent the entire summer perfecting my front flip and breaking my back. Eugene, on the other hand, was thrilled with the science kit and told me how jealous he was of his brother's when he was small. They spent 2 hours making "experiments" last night while I cleaned the house (nice eh?). Oh well, there's always Genevieve - she's bossy, over-zealous, loud, and has absolutely zero attention span - come to think of it, she IS my child!!

You Tube, I Tube, we All Tube

I helped teach the video portion of a teen camp last week. I had SO much fun teaching the kids and they made these Awesome Kinetic Art Sculptures that were out of this world. Now that we're in the Internet age of enlightenment, I uploaded the video we made to YouTube. Check it out by going to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSSTyn_8xLo or just go to YouTube and search "CityArts Teen Extreme Art Camp". It's only 5 minutes long but you may have to wait a little for it to buffer (I find the stops and starts very annoying and uusually just pause online video clips and let them buffer at least half way through before playing).

Ughhh Veggies...

I'm just half joking but it's been almost 2 days of meat-free nutrition for me! I've been sticking to it (I know all of you were dying to know). I have also virtually eliminated sugar, salt, and am down to 1 cup of coffee per day.

the Pros:

- Wow - you are really regular when you get your full recommended dose of fiber on a daily basis
- The bloated icky feeling has gone - my sotmach feels flat.
- I think I've lost weight already.

the Cons:

- Eating a Boca Burger patty while the rest of your family and friends dine on marinated steak kind of (really) sucks.
- I'm hungry.
- I'm hungry.
- I'm hungry.

Now it IS almost 5pm and the tuna salad and apple I had at lunch have long since vacated the premises. I'm going to a co-worker send-off at a bar and grill after work so that should be interesting. I need to find more things to eat besides pasta and salad.

Go Veggies!

I'm pondering becoming a vegetarian. I have always been attracted to the idea and admire people who have "crossed over" to become plant-eaters (aren't they always the nicer of the animal species? I think of the Brontosaurus - so big and gentle, like a big dog and well, kind of dumb but that's another topic altogether). I got an anti-cancer diet email from my sister and it highly recommends switching to a plant-based diet. Now I'm not talking about giving up dairy or fish (being an islander that's crazy talk), but I've realized there are huge benefits to eating a plant-based diet, and they all jive well with my belief system:

- Vegetarians have much lower cancer rates - red meat and the like expells a lot of toxins and linger in your body a lot longer - not to mention the hormones, antibodies and other gross things in cows these days. With a history of cancer deaths in my family, the plethora of info out there supporting this is compelling enough to make the switch.

- Saturated fat is bad. Period. There is nothing good about this type of fat.

- Vegetarians are good for the environment. It takes a lot less space and resources to plant a field of grains than to raise a field of cattle. And the grains grown can feeed about 100 times more people than the beef.

- Animal Protection - I'm not a huge animal-rights activist but all you have to do is drive out to western Kansas and see the sea of cows being penned up in their own filth with no room to even turn around and the only other thing there is a steel metal trough that pumps out food (there's no such thing a farms or even farmers out here man) and you realize that no living creatture needs to endure a life of misery and pain just to end up on our plate. Wrong is wrong.

- Leaner, meaner bodies - Vegetarians usually have less body fat and live longer than their meat-eating counterparts (no, this is not always true and I do know chunky vegetarians that snack on chips all day but we all have our exceptions).

- Cheaper groceries - a steak costs a heck of a lot more than a box of tofu.


Now the challenges:

- Family: Ha! Like my Philippino husband is going to jump on board this whim-of-the-month bandwagon. He was called "mr. hotdog" as a kid for a reason. My mother-in-law would also never let me convert her grandkids to vegetarians. I've seen the treatment she's lashed upon my sister-in-law who is a vegatarian and raises her kids as such. My kids won't even eat veggies except the odd raw carrot and a corn on the cob. I'm hoping we can compromise to eating veggie meals twice a week and I'll just sneak the fake meat in the other days (if you're reading this honey - just kidding - honestly!)

- Kansas - enough said - In this state vegetarian means "not the Porterhouse steak, just the small fillet". You're a complete freak if you don't eat meat and have to put up with restaurant fare that serves "veggie burgers" as a bun with lettuce, tomato and condiments. Really, I'm joking, but any barbeques I attend will not have an abundance of Boca Burgers on the grill.

- Cravings -Can I really do it? I really do like meat and let's face it - it tastes good. The only problem I've noticed lately is that meat doesn't like me. I had a burger on Saturday and I think it's still sitting in my stomach, waiting, making me feel bloated, full, and generally uncomfortable.


- Overall diet change - In my research, I've resentfully realized (is that correct verbage?) that not eating meat is only one component to an ultra-healthy diet - other criminal foods out there include sugar, salt, white bread, coffee (God no!), milk chocolate (God no X2!) and hydrogenated oils. These also must be banished to achieve the ultimum cancer-fighting effects on your body. sigh - thank god I've still got red wine and dark chocolate to comfort me (moderation my ass).

I'm going to try it out for a week (you can commit to anything for a week - except not peeing). I'll keep you posted on how it's going and use the blog to keep myself accountable. Wish me luck!!

My authentic self

Wow, sorry for leaving the whiny blog up there for so long...have you ever read something you wrote and thought "what was I on?" I had a great weekend in Vegas overall - missed the fam like crazy and spent most of my time holed away in the basement of the Flamingo listening to arts speaker after arts speaker (it was the Americans for the Arts Annual Convention). Some were OK, some were pretty lame ("let's all hold hands and dance on the balcony of life together" - huhh??). There was one standout though - Rhea Godess. This was possibly the coolest, most inspirational chick I ever heard speak in person. Besides being a performance actor, mother, motivational speaker, and community arts activist, she heads-up a non-profit org. in Brooklyn that helps disadvantaged african american girls enroll in a private arts camp that builds confidence, teaches arts training, and most importantly, helps these girls realize the power of their "authentic self". I love this term - it encompasses everything you want to be, but lack the courage, time, resources, etc, to be. I made a pact this weekend to work towards this goal - to stop worrying so much about everything outside of me and start working on what's going on inside of me (I know, hokey as hell but you get the drift). I already notice a change - I speak up more (which is freaking my boss out because I'm no longer the cute mute girl that just tags along), I'm saying no more (which also freaks him out), I'm more confident and am investing less in what others think of me (I'm horribly vain which ambasses me and annoys me) and more on what I think of me. I have a feeling everything else will start to fall in place! I know - riiiight.

Reality Bites

Reader Alert: I'm really bummed out about a lot of things right now so potential downer ahead....

Not to sound overly-dramatic (which I NEVER am), but sometimes you come to a point in your life where you ask yourself "why bother?" I have to leave for Vegas today for a business trip, which normally would thrill me to death, yet nothing has been going right these past couple of days. The dog died, which has caused me to walk around feeling like a little part of my heart has been ripped out, my husband is totally stressed and frustrated about not being able to finish his Private Pilot liscence, which the rain and now my trip,are preventing, the kids are...well the kids are actually fine but they're 2 and 5 and SOOO much work, and my job has been super busy lately - working nights, weekends, now travelling for 5 days...and for what? We never seem to have any extra money laying around, this isn't a job I'm particularly thrilled about, we have no family support around and our only real close friends are moving in August (which I'm actually thrilled about because I love Jill and want her to be happy too). I just wonder sometimes why we all kill ourselves for money and jobs when neither seem to bring alot of us an abundance of happiness. I know, I know, life costs a ton of money and if you have kids you gotta work and suck it up, but it's defeating sometimes when I can't make everything OK. There are no easy answers out there and I guess we just need to find something that makes us happy and not get so wrapped up in the rest of it. If I can get rid of the guilt that constantly nags every working mom maybe someday I'll find the time to seek out that certain something too.

We will miss you Hudson

Our dog Hudson passed away last night. He was sick for a week and just never got any better. The Vet couldn't really find anything that wrong with him when I took him in last Friday, and the bloodwork didn't reveal anything alarming. We were up with him last night as he laid in his doghouse with his pillow and took his last breaths. He died very peacefully at home with the family. Hudson was a huge part of our family for 10 years - he was part of the Hudson / Chewie Duo (the 2 looked like identical twins) that were our first kids. He was the rambunctious half of the duo and never ceased to cause us endless headaches with his michevious nature - I worry how Chewie's going to react to being alone - that's going to be hard. Smart, stubborn, and charismatic- a true Husky that Euge and I eagerly took on with all our naivety. We went thtough 10 years of escapades with this dog, including, but not limited to:

- chasing him through a Toronto park while he ran gleefully through a Preschool field-trip class with a dead squirrel hanging out of his mouth.

- Being brought home in a cop car - more than once

- Finding him hanging out on the couch in a tennis court clubhouse surrounded by kids.

- Wedging himself into a Cocker-Spaniel's dog bed during a camping trip and claiming it as his own.

- His way of "talking to you" to tell you the dog dish needs water ("whoo-whoo" and kicking the dish at you).

- Being found wandering the aisles at the local Grocery Store.

- Finding him standing up on his hind legs peering into a car's open window at the ATM bank machine across the street.

Man, that dog was a handful, but he made me smile like no other. He had a lot of patience with our kids and loved to push his head up under my chin and nibble my ear. He had a way about him that made him more like a big cat than a dog. I will truly miss him but also smile when I think of his antics and count my blessings we were able to have him in our lives for a decade. RIP Hudson, we will all miss you and always love you.

Class of 2007!

It was a big day this week for my little guy Joshua - he graduated from Pre-Kindergarden this week and will be heading off to school this fall. I know - I know, What?? they have ceremonies for this? Trust me, I was one of those people too at one time - I'd balk at parents who gushed over their toddler's blubbering nonsensicle words, and would roll my eyes when kids were congratulated for accomplishing the most menial tasks (" you jumped with both feet - hooray"!!) . Now I've joined the league of insanely proud and annoying parents whose kid will surely skip 2 grades once they reach school because their teachers will confirm what you've known all along - your child is a genius. The transition from a safe highly-reputed preschool into the unkown world of "real" school was an eye-opening experience - parents are cut-throat competitive these days about getting their kid into a "good" school and you're constantly bombarded with "What school is Joshua going to?". I dread this question because after spending months going back and forth we decided to send him to the cute public school 2 blocks away. It's in a nice neighborhood (ours), got good grades for academics, has nice teachers, and is a nice mix of kids. Despite all this, I still feel defensive when I tell people where he's going and often hear "Oh, that's supposed to be a nice school...(akward pause)..we decided to send our son to (la-te-da private school that costs a jillion dollars a year). I often can't help but wonder if we made the right decision...our son's a genius! He should be the one going to the fancy private school..not your kid that still drools at 5 years old! I have to constantly ground myself and not get caught up in the over-zealous movement that academics are all that matter. I hope I raise my son to be proficient in other areas besides grades (gasp! I know!!) , like manners (where have they dissapeared to?), travelling, trying new things, develolping great diplomacy skills (so needed in today's narcassistic society), advocating for our environment, participating in the arts, recognizing the importance of family, and learning that a smile can open more doors than demands. These attributes alone may not get him the VP CEO job, but they are just as important as any grade to live a fullfilled and happy life. As I watched my son walk down the aisle with my camcorder and camera in hand (trying not to sob and shake the camera), I hoped I can teach him what I have learned over the years and be a good example so that he can repeat this scene 16 years from now with a university diploma AND the life experience and principles to truly become "a success".

A League of My Own

I played softball this weekend. Rest assured, this was not on my own accord. One of my best friends Jill guilted me into it because her co-ed team needed an extra girl or else they'd be at a serious disadvantage (some "extra out" s-ball lingo reason). This is a testimony to how much I love Jill, because I have always loathed softball. I was traumatized as a child when I was put on a baseball team and developed a serious phobia of small round things being hurled at me (I still flinch at baseball games even when I sit in the skybox). The players were always big, tough, and oh-so assured of what they're doing. Not only have I not played baseball , or really any team sports since, I've never played slow-pitch softball in my life. I work out regularly and can run well, but I've always been a bit of a "girlie-girl". Tough-girl jocks intimidate me - and the guys just assume you're useless from the get-go - I hate to prove them right. I was clueless and nervous from the beginning and seriously out of my element (one of the tough-girl jocks from the other team had a t-shirt on that said "Redneck Girl - Hell ya!" - you get the picture). Going up to pitch was like one of those nightmares where you're standing in front of the class with your underwear on - everyone could tell right away I had no clue what I was doing and would be an easy out. Thank God in heavens the pitcher was not great and I was able to make this assessment as the balls came to me way too high and didn't swing - I ended up walking - score one for the clueless idiot!! I was asked to be the catcher during the inning where we're in the outfield and again, initially I was terrified and stood up straight 20 feet back from the batter (the umpire looked at me with mild curiosity and uttered "first timer?" ). Again, I surprised myself and actually didn't completely embarrass myself - even throwing with my right hand because they had no extra right-hand mitts (I'm left-handed). The best part though came at the end. It was my turn up to bat during the last inning, bases loaded, and if I could hit the ball and make it to first base we'd win the game - no pressure. It was so cliche I actually caught myself laughing. Well... it wasn't the Babe Ruth-style home run that I hoped for, but I did hit the ball, and I RAN. Luckily, my speedy little legs took me to first and I was safe. The other team assumed I'd be an easy out and tried to strike me out instead of the guy on third and we ended up winning the game! The team support, and cheering and high-fives actually felt good. Being part of any team that works together to achieve a goal is not such a bad thing, neither is getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new once in a while. I don't think I'll end up joining the team, but being an emergency sub is something I might be able to commit to. I just need to learn the rules - what's an RBI again???

Vegas Baby Vegas Part II

Top Ten Things I DID do in Vegas

1. Cirque do Soleil's "O" - unbelieveable
2. Awesome Seafood at "FIX"
3. Drinking Maragarita slushies WHILE walking on the strip (although they did make us nauseous but SOOO worth it).
4. Roller Coaster at NY NY
5. Getting a tutorial on how to use the slot machines from a chain-smoking addict that seemed to do nothing else.
6. The 50's diner in our hotel where every meal features a cheesy singing waiter belting out yet another tune from "Grease".
7. Kahunaville - bucket-size margaritas and bartendar shot contests to ACDC
8. Partying with an English flight crew from Manchester at the Nine Irishmen pub in NYNY
9. Discovering the speed-like benefits of Vodka and Red Bull
10. After #9 - becoming the poster child for "The City that Never Sleeps".

Vegas baby Vegas

Things NOT to do while I'm in Vegas this weekend with my sister...

1. Get too drunk on the plane, pass out, and end up back in Wichita.
2. Lose my wallet (it happens every trip).
3. Ride the roller coaster at the top of our hotel after drinking more than 2 margaritas.
4. forget sunscreen (SPF 45 baby).
5. Partake in the $1.99 "all you can eat" buffets.
6. Gamble away the mortgage.
7. Scream "I LOVE this song" and proceed to jump up on any stage/bar/table available to dance like a moron.
8. Forget how to get back to the hotel (If you're on the strip how hard can that be right?)
9. Patron any of the "I'm way too cool to do anything but stand around and check out everyone else" nighclubs.
10. Lose my sister.

Just like the Wizard of Oz

If you've read a newspaper or watched the news at all this weekend, you'll know that the town of Greensburg, Kansas was totally demolished by a Tornado this past weekend (pictures at http://www.kansas.com/static/slides/050507tornado/). Wichita wasn't hit but the sirens went off Sunday morning as a twister began to form in the air at the east end of town. It never touched down, but we were all huddled in our basement at church (definetely the best place to be during a natural crises in my opinion) and we were all pretty spooked after seeing what happened the night before just an hour and a half's drive away. The weather is still crazy here with flood warnings and severe thunderstorm warnings left right and center. I'm dying to get to Vegas on Thursday where all I have to contend with weather-wise is getting too sunburnt (reminder to self: sunscreen SPF 45).

Crap-tastic Garage Sale

We're thinking about having a garage sale - or at the very least, piggy-backing on our friends' garage sale and throwing our stuff into the mix. The problem is...all of our stuff taking up our basement space is total crap (see above). Old moldy clothes, worn out shoes, text books from university, broken computer parts...all jammed into rows of boxes with no thought or organization at all put inro the process. You know what the really sad thing is? We have been hauling this caravan of crap from home to home to home for almost 10 years now. From our humble beginnings in Toronto, to Portland, Oregon, then to Wichita Kansas six years later, we actually pay movers hundreds of dollars to move this garbage. Why do we do this? God knows I'll never have a hankering to crack open James Joyce, and I know Eugene won't be wearing those old canvas Vans circa 1999. I think in the end it's pure laziness. We've been in Kansas for almost 3 years now and I have yet to sift through them for any token items of sentiment that I'd want to keep. I'll have to do this at some point, but for now, the crap remains.

Hot Politics and Sailing far away

A couple of nights ago I watched a documentary entitled "Hot Politics" on PBS. It blew my mind. If you care about the environment you'll want to see it. It chronicles how the US government denied, covered-up and censured the nation's top scientists from releasing scientific evidence that proved 10 years ago what we now know - that climate change is real and progressing faster than any of us could have ever predicted. If you're one of the three people left on earth that still denies climate change is real, well, nothing at this point will ever convince you this is really happening and good luck to you... but for everyone else, check out http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/hotpolitics/ to learn more and watch the doc online.

In happier news, we got an email from 2 of our best friends who are currently in the Bahamas. These two are living out every person's dream of escaping the stressed-out mundane existance most of us call "life". About 6 months ago, they both left their jobs in Portland OR, sold their house and most of their possessions, flew to Miami, then sailed to the Bahamas, and are beginning their epic journey of sailing up the east coast in their 40-ft sailboat. Their journey will end in Newfoundland, where they will settle in their native village to run the family jam factory (awww, how quaint). Their blog chronicles their adventures so far and is at http://www.darktickle.com/bedlamerblog.aspx. I was filled with jealousy reading it and made Eugene promise we could quit our jobs, sell the house, buy an Airstream and travel the country before settling down in Canada (I know, we're cheating with the airstream but can you imagine 2 adults, 2 kids and 2 huskies sailing the open seas? - talk about rough waters).

Tornado Alley

There's supposed to be a tornado ripping through Wichita today. We do live in "Tornado Alley" so it's not really a shock to have tornadoes here (there were 8 twisters that touched down in Kansas last night), but they rarely come through the city. You can always tell when it's ripe tornado conditions. The air is really humid, it's eerily quiet and still, and the cloud-covered sky turns a creepy greenish color. I've never actually seen one, but we got to see a "Wall cloud" a couple of years ago (followed by a flash flood that we got caught in), and we've had sirens go off in the city before and headed to the basement at work to huddle like dumb sheep ("do you know if it touched down?", "no, do YOU know?"). The meteorology systems here are pretty amazing - you can go online and see the "super cells" forming and coming closer, and closer - they can pinpoint these suckers down to the minute they touch down. Funny thing is, I'm not worried so much about Euge or the kids (we all have tornado shelters where we are), but our poor dogs. We didn't check the weather before we left and they are outside today - I hope they are smart enough to take care of themselves. Though with nicknames like "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum"- I have my doubts .

I am Pilot, hear me roar

Eugene will be getting his Private Pilot's liscence in a couple of months. He envisions weekends full of the family happily flying around the great plains of the midwest (aka - lots of fields). I envision weekends of terror that every flight in that little deathtrap of steel may be my last. See, I'm not afraid of flying - I have no problem with boarding commercial jets and looking up the aisle to catch a brief glimpse of the official-looking captain with his official-looking wings pin and hat. I trust him based on looks and ignorance - good enough for me. My problem is I've never actually seen my husband fly and only know him as the laid-back jokester that wears t-shirts and shorts when he goes "flying" and jumps 2 feet in the air when he sees a spider (which I'll be combing the inside of any plane for before flying in it with him). As a lead flight-test engineer Euge is actually over-qualified to be flying around in a dinky-little Cessna -which is my other major problem - these so-called "planes" are nothing more than old K-cars with wings. I guess putting your life in your spouse's hands is always a little scary and requires a leap of faith. But I guess that's what marriage is in a nutshell. I love the guy and have to trust he knows what he's doing. Maybe I'll ask him to wear his flight suit, don a hat and change his name to Brad - that may do the trick.

Lost on an island...

Lost is on tonight...You know life is getting pretttttyyy Laaamme when this is the highlight of the week. I don't watch a lot of TV so the fact that I got sucked into the show from the start and still watch it is an accomplishment (adult ADD alert). The best part is that Euge and I both love it - how often do couples agree on a show they like?

The show deals with a lot of issues that transcend into real life - there's no real "good" or "evil" people (yes, Mr. Bush, it's true), there are no "happy endings" at the end of every show, people can be selfish and mean and then change, or vice versa, and sometimes survival is the only thing that really matters - even if it's just clinging to a dim hope or memory of past happiness to get you through the day.

Living in the States can be hard - you're bombarded with paranoia, greed, war, incompetant conservative windbag (OK... I've got to stop) leaders who think they know what's best for the rest of the world, random shootings that kill college kids, and now we have the fact that the environment is going to hell in a handbasket to contend with. Why in the world would we choose to live here? Trust me, I watch Lost every week, and that island looks better and better - there's no money, pollution, computers (wow, they MUST have a lot of free time), cell phones, birthday parties, bad bosses, and People Magazines (it's like a car crash...I can't look away!!). If I could escape my problems and live on an island commune-style with my family and friends for a year, I'd take it! (I'd take the black smoke monster any day over some of my co-workers).

FaceBook

I discovered Facebook about a month ago - man what a mistake. This little gem must be responsible for a nosedive in productivity for companies across the world (case in point I'm at work right now!!). You can find people that you haven't spoken to in years and Bam! there they are, with all their info right there for you to pry into. There's photo albums, thoughts, postings, and, of course the best part - all their "friends" who you might know and can invite to to be "your friend" too and on and on and all of a sudden you've got this re-incarnated world of people you knew throughout your life and you're all together again and...it's really cool but really weird too. You start getting invites from people you don't remember knowing at all, and then you start becoming obsessed with finding everyone and anyone you ever knew (not me of course - I'm way too cool for that). There's suddenly no point communicating with real people at all- all your "friends" are right there - you get updates when someone's written on your wall, updated their photo album, altered their preferences, became friends with someone else - and they get the same when you update your site (how can I change my musical preferences without everyone knowing and thinking I must be doing it to look hipper when it's true!!!). I need to take a little break from this craziness.... right after I search for a long lost friend who still owes me money!!

Easter O.D.

This Easter wasn't the same with Euge in the Philippines - it is SO far away and I haven't heard from him in like 3 days (I envision him riding one of those crazy-looking Jeepnie bus-thingies through villages with lots of fumes and noise and general overcrowded merriment). In an effort to make Easter OK for the kids I bought them presents, chocolate, candy, an ice-cream cake and the obligatory Easter clothes for church. I had our friends Adam and Jill over for brunch (see picture), who we all love and are so grateful to have. See in Kansas, most people have their immediate and extended families here - there aren't a lot of translplants like us here (go figure) so the family-as-friends clan that you find in bigger cities doesn't really apply here. Adam and Jill don't have immediate family here either AND they are very cool. They also brought over their friend Langston who I immediately liked because he offered to walk the dogs - gotta love someone who's willing to work for food!! We had a great meal and lots of mimosa's and chocolate and by the time everyone left the kids and I passed out (ahem...I mean "napped") for a good 2 hours...gotta love the true meaning of Easter: Eat/Drink,Pray,and Love.

The Kids

I thought it's about time I pay homage to my kiddos, Joshua and Genevieve. My husband's in the Philippines for 2 weeks and whenever he travels I find myself growing very close with my kids. We endure more frustration and chaos together due to me being more rushed and disorganized than usual, but we also cuddle more and I usually let them away with more than normal (SpongeBob during the week, 2 desserts after dinner, guilt toys). I love them more than I could have ever imagined loving anything (sorry dogs), and all of us have become a tight little unit out here alone in the middle of the country. I constantly worry about how they're doing and will draw blood on anyone that harms them (that includes the little 2-year old that shoved Genevieve off the jungle gym a couple of weeks ago - I swear Euge had to hold me back). Euge is also a great dad and his presence is really missed when he's away. In thinking of what direction my life will take in the future, they are always at the forefront and it's impossible to seperate the two. Here's to kids and all that they teach us:
- There are "Big Deals" and "Little Deals" - decide which one is which and act accordingly.
- Having Superpowers is an attainable goal and career choice.
- Elmo is God
- Taking baths and pooping detract from playtime and should be avoided at all cost
- Milk is to be spilled at least once a day
- Learn what compliments work and use them in times of hostility - "mommy I know I shouldn't have emptied out the pepper grinder all over the kitchen table but you're hair is so pretty and I love your flowers."
- If you can make me laugh, you're the best.

Eye Candy

We have an electrician working in the boardroom that looks like Leonardo DiCaprio. So far I've found the following reasons to wander in:
- getting paper coffee cups
- getting styrofoam coffee cups (it's a seperate trip of course)
- emptying out boxes and re-filling new ones (same paper, just swapping boxes).
- setting up for a board meeting (the only legit reason)
I've tried to think of ways to get a picture of him without it being suspicious but how could it NOT be? I'm open to suggestions.

Tanning

I think the Us magazine I read over the weekend went to my head, but seeing all those celebs with their sun-kissed cheeks and healthy-looking skin got to me. See, I'm going to Las Vegas in 6 weeks with my sister (who is my favorite chick in the world and the funnest person I could imagine going to Vegas with) and I need some ammo if I'm going to be lounging aroung the pool in a 2-piece. You know the old adage "if you can't hide it, tan it." So I head over to the tanning salon around the corner during my lunch break. Now, I haven't been in a tanning bed since I was 11 and my mom owned one in her shop - we went to Florida during Spring Break and my mom believed that a couple a sessions before we left would develop "a good base" and help prevent major burns (I still burnt). And I'm a natural fair skinned red-head. I admit I'm envious of my husband and kids's skin (Eugene's Philippino - Canadian) - why should they always get to look like they've just been in the south pacific surfing when I look like I've been locked in the basement for 9 months straight? So...I walk into the tanning salon and am greeted by a super-tanned brunette. she proceeds to show me around and describe the various tanning beds - the high-tech ones all look like neon-glowing alien pods. I nod along in ignorance and then look at the tanning "menu" - Super-tan girl really recommends the "Beach baby" package - for $60 a month you get unlimited tanning - all you do is sign an easy 12-month contract with automatic bankdraft!! I smile sweetly and tell her that I want to have a little "color" when I get to Vegas, not look like I've been dipped in a Turkey Deep Fryer. So, I'll try a free session on Friday and let you know how it goes one question though- Do you wear underwear? I don't want to term "firecrotch" to be literal. ouch...

The Psycho Friend

I was talking to my sister on the phone last night and she was telling me about her psycho friend problem. The friendship started out innocently enough (they always do), but over the past few months, has grown increasingly intense and creepy. This chick calls her 3-4 times a day, follows-up with emails and voice messages, guilts my sister into hanging out with her on her Sundays - her only day off - but doesn't want anyone else hanging out with them - Jealousy, manipulative flattery ("you're such an inspiration"), agression, gifts to induce guilt - God, cue the "screech, screech,screech" sounds and stabbing arm motion. I know, you're thinking "the poor thing, she's just lonely." Trust me my friend, this is what she wants you to believe, but in reality she's a ticking time bomb of craziness.

I think we can all attest to having at least one psycho friend (PF) throughout our lives. I tend to attract more than my fair share - it may be my ability to listen well (psycho's thrive on devoted attention), or that I'm pretty outgoing and open-minded - or I could just be a plain sucker. I had one PF that would park her car outside my house if she saw my car in the driveway and then proceed to call on her cell to see if she could "pop-in". Now, I've popped into friends' houses unnanounced before, but this was like EVERY second day. She'd usually show up in hytserics over yet another drama-induced argument her and her partner got into (always lame). I'd have at least 2-3 calls a day, gifts left for me, and then she started showing up at places I would frequent - the neighborhood park, walking the dogs, - way more than "coincidence." All the psycho hallmarks reared their ugly head: (see list below). Needless to say I gave her the big "Coup de Grace" via email (my usual un-confrontational style) and then proceeded to peek out the window behind the curtains for a month afterwards (I had nightmares of her standing outside my house crying in the rain with a boombox like John Cusak in "Say Anything"). We always wonder what the consequences to ending such a creepy relationship will be. To her credit, my former PF never called or tried to reconcile. I did learn a good lesson though - look for PF signs - they include:

1. No mention of any other friends.
2. Strained relationship with spouse or extended family.
3. Repeated calls and email with requests to "hang out" (any more than 1 a day is weird to me - sorry Oprah and Gail).
4. Repeatedly leaving things at your house and using them as an excuse to "pop by."
5. Gifts and flattery for no reason that makes you feel weird.
6. Drama - there's always drama.
7. One-sided - conversations usually focus on them.
8. Intense - PF are usually needy, intense people that control conversations, dates, etc.
9. Jealousy - PF usually want you to be one-on-one - other friends and spouses are not so welcome.

You're PF may exhibit one or more of these traits at various levels - the main thing to remember is - if it feels "weird" get out - you owe this person nothing and trust me - it will NOT get any better it in the long run. Run forest Run!!!

Note: I currently have no PF's in my life - my friends are all healthy and normal and awesome.

Stuck in a Rut....

I came to the realization last week that I am unfullfilled by my job in general. I know, like I'm the only one right?? I have been giving myself plenty of reasons why I should feel guilty about even thinking like this: I have a great office (with a door!), I work in a cool area (yes,we have 1 or 2), I make decent money, the people I work with are great, I get all the stat holidays off (President's Day!!), etc etc. The problem remains the actual WORK - it's administrative stuff and about as exciting as watching c-span for 8 hours straight -EVERY DAY. The TV stuff I do get to do is mundane - promo pieces and more admin work that conflict with my journalistic training. I realized last night that for the past 5 years, I have been setting up a career path to accomodate others: weekends and nights off to be with the family, holidays off so I'd be home with the kids, 9-5 with no overtime to be home for dinner, and a job that I can "leave" at work (I have warned and berated about the evil dangers of "taking work home with you"). To be truthful, these are all noble objectives, and when you have 2 kids under 5 with no extended family in sight, it's also a necessity. However, it also means you're going to have a pretty mundane job. Ask anyone and you know that I have a pretty strong personality. I need creativity and passion, I need to make a difference in the lives of others, I need to get excited about things. I have made excuses for not getting back into journalism for long enough - I need to get a job that actually suits ME, while also maintaining some sort of family balance - It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out....