My authentic self

Wow, sorry for leaving the whiny blog up there for so long...have you ever read something you wrote and thought "what was I on?" I had a great weekend in Vegas overall - missed the fam like crazy and spent most of my time holed away in the basement of the Flamingo listening to arts speaker after arts speaker (it was the Americans for the Arts Annual Convention). Some were OK, some were pretty lame ("let's all hold hands and dance on the balcony of life together" - huhh??). There was one standout though - Rhea Godess. This was possibly the coolest, most inspirational chick I ever heard speak in person. Besides being a performance actor, mother, motivational speaker, and community arts activist, she heads-up a non-profit org. in Brooklyn that helps disadvantaged african american girls enroll in a private arts camp that builds confidence, teaches arts training, and most importantly, helps these girls realize the power of their "authentic self". I love this term - it encompasses everything you want to be, but lack the courage, time, resources, etc, to be. I made a pact this weekend to work towards this goal - to stop worrying so much about everything outside of me and start working on what's going on inside of me (I know, hokey as hell but you get the drift). I already notice a change - I speak up more (which is freaking my boss out because I'm no longer the cute mute girl that just tags along), I'm saying no more (which also freaks him out), I'm more confident and am investing less in what others think of me (I'm horribly vain which ambasses me and annoys me) and more on what I think of me. I have a feeling everything else will start to fall in place! I know - riiiight.