Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Reality Bites

Reader Alert: I'm really bummed out about a lot of things right now so potential downer ahead....

Not to sound overly-dramatic (which I NEVER am), but sometimes you come to a point in your life where you ask yourself "why bother?" I have to leave for Vegas today for a business trip, which normally would thrill me to death, yet nothing has been going right these past couple of days. The dog died, which has caused me to walk around feeling like a little part of my heart has been ripped out, my husband is totally stressed and frustrated about not being able to finish his Private Pilot liscence, which the rain and now my trip,are preventing, the kids are...well the kids are actually fine but they're 2 and 5 and SOOO much work, and my job has been super busy lately - working nights, weekends, now travelling for 5 days...and for what? We never seem to have any extra money laying around, this isn't a job I'm particularly thrilled about, we have no family support around and our only real close friends are moving in August (which I'm actually thrilled about because I love Jill and want her to be happy too). I just wonder sometimes why we all kill ourselves for money and jobs when neither seem to bring alot of us an abundance of happiness. I know, I know, life costs a ton of money and if you have kids you gotta work and suck it up, but it's defeating sometimes when I can't make everything OK. There are no easy answers out there and I guess we just need to find something that makes us happy and not get so wrapped up in the rest of it. If I can get rid of the guilt that constantly nags every working mom maybe someday I'll find the time to seek out that certain something too.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

We will miss you Hudson



Our dog Hudson passed away last night. He was sick for a week and just never got any better. The Vet couldn't really find anything that wrong with him when I took him in last Friday, and the bloodwork didn't reveal anything alarming. We were up with him last night as he laid in his doghouse with his pillow and took his last breaths. He died very peacefully at home with the family. Hudson was a huge part of our family for 10 years - he was part of the Hudson / Chewie Duo (the 2 looked like identical twins) that were our first kids. He was the rambunctious half of the duo and never ceased to cause us endless headaches with his michevious nature - I worry how Chewie's going to react to being alone - that's going to be hard. Smart, stubborn, and charismatic- a true Husky that Euge and I eagerly took on with all our naivety. We went thtough 10 years of escapades with this dog, including, but not limited to:

- chasing him through a Toronto park while he ran gleefully through a Preschool field-trip class with a dead squirrel hanging out of his mouth.

- Being brought home in a cop car - more than once

- Finding him hanging out on the couch in a tennis court clubhouse surrounded by kids.

- Wedging himself into a Cocker-Spaniel's dog bed during a camping trip and claiming it as his own.

- His way of "talking to you" to tell you the dog dish needs water ("whoo-whoo" and kicking the dish at you).

- Being found wandering the aisles at the local Grocery Store.

- Finding him standing up on his hind legs peering into a car's open window at the ATM bank machine across the street.

Man, that dog was a handful, but he made me smile like no other. He had a lot of patience with our kids and loved to push his head up under my chin and nibble my ear. He had a way about him that made him more like a big cat than a dog. I will truly miss him but also smile when I think of his antics and count my blessings we were able to have him in our lives for a decade. RIP Hudson, we will all miss you and always love you.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Class of 2007!



It was a big day this week for my little guy Joshua - he graduated from Pre-Kindergarden this week and will be heading off to school this fall. I know - I know, What?? they have ceremonies for this? Trust me, I was one of those people too at one time - I'd balk at parents who gushed over their toddler's blubbering nonsensicle words, and would roll my eyes when kids were congratulated for accomplishing the most menial tasks (" you jumped with both feet - hooray"!!) . Now I've joined the league of insanely proud and annoying parents whose kid will surely skip 2 grades once they reach school because their teachers will confirm what you've known all along - your child is a genius. The transition from a safe highly-reputed preschool into the unkown world of "real" school was an eye-opening experience - parents are cut-throat competitive these days about getting their kid into a "good" school and you're constantly bombarded with "What school is Joshua going to?". I dread this question because after spending months going back and forth we decided to send him to the cute public school 2 blocks away. It's in a nice neighborhood (ours), got good grades for academics, has nice teachers, and is a nice mix of kids. Despite all this, I still feel defensive when I tell people where he's going and often hear "Oh, that's supposed to be a nice school...(akward pause)..we decided to send our son to (la-te-da private school that costs a jillion dollars a year). I often can't help but wonder if we made the right decision...our son's a genius! He should be the one going to the fancy private school..not your kid that still drools at 5 years old! I have to constantly ground myself and not get caught up in the over-zealous movement that academics are all that matter. I hope I raise my son to be proficient in other areas besides grades (gasp! I know!!) , like manners (where have they dissapeared to?), travelling, trying new things, develolping great diplomacy skills (so needed in today's narcassistic society), advocating for our environment, participating in the arts, recognizing the importance of family, and learning that a smile can open more doors than demands. These attributes alone may not get him the VP CEO job, but they are just as important as any grade to live a fullfilled and happy life. As I watched my son walk down the aisle with my camcorder and camera in hand (trying not to sob and shake the camera), I hoped I can teach him what I have learned over the years and be a good example so that he can repeat this scene 16 years from now with a university diploma AND the life experience and principles to truly become "a success".

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

A League of My Own



I played softball this weekend. Rest assured, this was not on my own accord. One of my best friends Jill guilted me into it because her co-ed team needed an extra girl or else they'd be at a serious disadvantage (some "extra out" s-ball lingo reason). This is a testimony to how much I love Jill, because I have always loathed softball. I was traumatized as a child when I was put on a baseball team and developed a serious phobia of small round things being hurled at me (I still flinch at baseball games even when I sit in the skybox). The players were always big, tough, and oh-so assured of what they're doing. Not only have I not played baseball , or really any team sports since, I've never played slow-pitch softball in my life. I work out regularly and can run well, but I've always been a bit of a "girlie-girl". Tough-girl jocks intimidate me - and the guys just assume you're useless from the get-go - I hate to prove them right. I was clueless and nervous from the beginning and seriously out of my element (one of the tough-girl jocks from the other team had a t-shirt on that said "Redneck Girl - Hell ya!" - you get the picture). Going up to pitch was like one of those nightmares where you're standing in front of the class with your underwear on - everyone could tell right away I had no clue what I was doing and would be an easy out. Thank God in heavens the pitcher was not great and I was able to make this assessment as the balls came to me way too high and didn't swing - I ended up walking - score one for the clueless idiot!! I was asked to be the catcher during the inning where we're in the outfield and again, initially I was terrified and stood up straight 20 feet back from the batter (the umpire looked at me with mild curiosity and uttered "first timer?" ). Again, I surprised myself and actually didn't completely embarrass myself - even throwing with my right hand because they had no extra right-hand mitts (I'm left-handed). The best part though came at the end. It was my turn up to bat during the last inning, bases loaded, and if I could hit the ball and make it to first base we'd win the game - no pressure. It was so cliche I actually caught myself laughing. Well... it wasn't the Babe Ruth-style home run that I hoped for, but I did hit the ball, and I RAN. Luckily, my speedy little legs took me to first and I was safe. The other team assumed I'd be an easy out and tried to strike me out instead of the guy on third and we ended up winning the game! The team support, and cheering and high-fives actually felt good. Being part of any team that works together to achieve a goal is not such a bad thing, neither is getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new once in a while. I don't think I'll end up joining the team, but being an emergency sub is something I might be able to commit to. I just need to learn the rules - what's an RBI again???

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Vegas Baby Vegas Part II



Top Ten Things I DID do in Vegas

1. Cirque do Soleil's "O" - unbelieveable
2. Awesome Seafood at "FIX"
3. Drinking Maragarita slushies WHILE walking on the strip (although they did make us nauseous but SOOO worth it).
4. Roller Coaster at NY NY
5. Getting a tutorial on how to use the slot machines from a chain-smoking addict that seemed to do nothing else.
6. The 50's diner in our hotel where every meal features a cheesy singing waiter belting out yet another tune from "Grease".
7. Kahunaville - bucket-size margaritas and bartendar shot contests to ACDC
8. Partying with an English flight crew from Manchester at the Nine Irishmen pub in NYNY
9. Discovering the speed-like benefits of Vodka and Red Bull
10. After #9 - becoming the poster child for "The City that Never Sleeps".

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Vegas baby Vegas




Things NOT to do while I'm in Vegas this weekend with my sister...

1. Get too drunk on the plane, pass out, and end up back in Wichita.
2. Lose my wallet (it happens every trip).
3. Ride the roller coaster at the top of our hotel after drinking more than 2 margaritas.
4. forget sunscreen (SPF 45 baby).
5. Partake in the $1.99 "all you can eat" buffets.
6. Gamble away the mortgage.
7. Scream "I LOVE this song" and proceed to jump up on any stage/bar/table available to dance like a moron.
8. Forget how to get back to the hotel (If you're on the strip how hard can that be right?)
9. Patron any of the "I'm way too cool to do anything but stand around and check out everyone else" nighclubs.
10. Lose my sister.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Just like the Wizard of Oz




If you've read a newspaper or watched the news at all this weekend, you'll know that the town of Greensburg, Kansas was totally demolished by a Tornado this past weekend (pictures at http://www.kansas.com/static/slides/050507tornado/). Wichita wasn't hit but the sirens went off Sunday morning as a twister began to form in the air at the east end of town. It never touched down, but we were all huddled in our basement at church (definetely the best place to be during a natural crises in my opinion) and we were all pretty spooked after seeing what happened the night before just an hour and a half's drive away. The weather is still crazy here with flood warnings and severe thunderstorm warnings left right and center. I'm dying to get to Vegas on Thursday where all I have to contend with weather-wise is getting too sunburnt (reminder to self: sunscreen SPF 45).

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Crap-tastic Garage Sale



We're thinking about having a garage sale - or at the very least, piggy-backing on our friends' garage sale and throwing our stuff into the mix. The problem is...all of our stuff taking up our basement space is total crap (see above). Old moldy clothes, worn out shoes, text books from university, broken computer parts...all jammed into rows of boxes with no thought or organization at all put inro the process. You know what the really sad thing is? We have been hauling this caravan of crap from home to home to home for almost 10 years now. From our humble beginnings in Toronto, to Portland, Oregon, then to Wichita Kansas six years later, we actually pay movers hundreds of dollars to move this garbage. Why do we do this? God knows I'll never have a hankering to crack open James Joyce, and I know Eugene won't be wearing those old canvas Vans circa 1999. I think in the end it's pure laziness. We've been in Kansas for almost 3 years now and I have yet to sift through them for any token items of sentiment that I'd want to keep. I'll have to do this at some point, but for now, the crap remains.