Super mom - Yeah Right

I apologize to my loyal readers (yes, you two) that I haven't written in a while. You can usually assumer super-bloggers are really busy when they haven't written in a while (or else they're just in a lame patch and have nothing to write about). I know I'm lame, but I've also been super busy - teaching a kids documentary filmmaking camp (awesome), producing a video for our congressman and chair of the National Endowement of the Arts (also awesome), Flying around in an airplane (more on that later), planning out an editing workshop I'm conducting tommorow at the Eagle, sending out invites for a pizza party for my 5-year old on Friday night with 10 of his closest friends, - oh and I also have a full-time job, 2 kids, husband, dog and a house that never seems to get fully cleaned.

"Wow, how impressive" you might say, or "how does she do it?" - well...I can't.

Things came to a bit of a climax last night. I had worked all wekend on a "wichita's Public Art is great!" video, spent Sunday running 5 miles in the morning (oh yes - I'm in training for the sept. half-marathon), 3 hours at the airshow (105 degrees on the tarmac), and then racing to meet the DC folks at the art museum at 3:30. I knew I had a full day on Monday and I also realized I was expected to attend the post-event dinner at 6-8pm. Now, I signed my daughter up for swim classes on Mondays at 5:30 to have some mommy-Genevieve time and I was adament I could do both. So there I was racing from work after a full day of events and presentations, picking up my daughter at daycare, throwing Capri Sun and Gogurt (best invention ever) at her to choke down in the car on the way to the Y. I got through the class with her, got her dry and changed in break-neck speed, while also trying to look my best with wet hair and bad makeup, met my husband (who was getting certified in belaying because Josh has taken up rock climbing), and left her crying in his arms (" No work mommy, no work again"), I sped half-sobbing to the hostess' house, where I downed 2 glasses of wine and did my best to be charming and hob-nob with the DC crowd. Uggghhhh.

You know what's really sad? This scene is actually pretty typical of many moms out there. We grew up with our moms working and not "being there" for us and vowed not to do the same for our kids, But then we get out in the real world after college and realize that most of us either have ambitions of our own, or just plain have to work to keep a roof over our head, so goddammit we can do both. The fact that I spent 30 minutes in swim class makes up for the fact that I couldn't put her to bed right??? I spend the weekend doing fantastic, exciting things with them to make up for working all week - that evens things out right?? We fly up to Canada and spend 2 weeks with the grandparents to make up for the fact that they are not around for the rest of the year - the exciting vacation makes up for it right?

There are no easy answers out there - It is fiscally and emotionally impossible for me to stay at home with the kids - Euge and I are ambitious, active people and we like to do things that usually cost money. But we are also assessing our values and trying harder to live our lives by what's really important to us. I hope we can find a middle road and alleviate some of the guilt on my part - which interestingly enough, Eugene feels none of - another paradox of dads and moms' roles in society...but that's for another day!


In other news...Euge finally got his Private Pilot's Liscence and took us all up for a flight on Saturday!! I was initally nervous but settled down right after we started taxiing down the runway - The "pilot" was all professional and cool and he totally knew what he was doing. The flight was awesome - I was totally impressed with my husband - he rocks!!