The Psycho Friend

I was talking to my sister on the phone last night and she was telling me about her psycho friend problem. The friendship started out innocently enough (they always do), but over the past few months, has grown increasingly intense and creepy. This chick calls her 3-4 times a day, follows-up with emails and voice messages, guilts my sister into hanging out with her on her Sundays - her only day off - but doesn't want anyone else hanging out with them - Jealousy, manipulative flattery ("you're such an inspiration"), agression, gifts to induce guilt - God, cue the "screech, screech,screech" sounds and stabbing arm motion. I know, you're thinking "the poor thing, she's just lonely." Trust me my friend, this is what she wants you to believe, but in reality she's a ticking time bomb of craziness.

I think we can all attest to having at least one psycho friend (PF) throughout our lives. I tend to attract more than my fair share - it may be my ability to listen well (psycho's thrive on devoted attention), or that I'm pretty outgoing and open-minded - or I could just be a plain sucker. I had one PF that would park her car outside my house if she saw my car in the driveway and then proceed to call on her cell to see if she could "pop-in". Now, I've popped into friends' houses unnanounced before, but this was like EVERY second day. She'd usually show up in hytserics over yet another drama-induced argument her and her partner got into (always lame). I'd have at least 2-3 calls a day, gifts left for me, and then she started showing up at places I would frequent - the neighborhood park, walking the dogs, - way more than "coincidence." All the psycho hallmarks reared their ugly head: (see list below). Needless to say I gave her the big "Coup de Grace" via email (my usual un-confrontational style) and then proceeded to peek out the window behind the curtains for a month afterwards (I had nightmares of her standing outside my house crying in the rain with a boombox like John Cusak in "Say Anything"). We always wonder what the consequences to ending such a creepy relationship will be. To her credit, my former PF never called or tried to reconcile. I did learn a good lesson though - look for PF signs - they include:

1. No mention of any other friends.
2. Strained relationship with spouse or extended family.
3. Repeated calls and email with requests to "hang out" (any more than 1 a day is weird to me - sorry Oprah and Gail).
4. Repeatedly leaving things at your house and using them as an excuse to "pop by."
5. Gifts and flattery for no reason that makes you feel weird.
6. Drama - there's always drama.
7. One-sided - conversations usually focus on them.
8. Intense - PF are usually needy, intense people that control conversations, dates, etc.
9. Jealousy - PF usually want you to be one-on-one - other friends and spouses are not so welcome.

You're PF may exhibit one or more of these traits at various levels - the main thing to remember is - if it feels "weird" get out - you owe this person nothing and trust me - it will NOT get any better it in the long run. Run forest Run!!!

Note: I currently have no PF's in my life - my friends are all healthy and normal and awesome.

Stuck in a Rut....

I came to the realization last week that I am unfullfilled by my job in general. I know, like I'm the only one right?? I have been giving myself plenty of reasons why I should feel guilty about even thinking like this: I have a great office (with a door!), I work in a cool area (yes,we have 1 or 2), I make decent money, the people I work with are great, I get all the stat holidays off (President's Day!!), etc etc. The problem remains the actual WORK - it's administrative stuff and about as exciting as watching c-span for 8 hours straight -EVERY DAY. The TV stuff I do get to do is mundane - promo pieces and more admin work that conflict with my journalistic training. I realized last night that for the past 5 years, I have been setting up a career path to accomodate others: weekends and nights off to be with the family, holidays off so I'd be home with the kids, 9-5 with no overtime to be home for dinner, and a job that I can "leave" at work (I have warned and berated about the evil dangers of "taking work home with you"). To be truthful, these are all noble objectives, and when you have 2 kids under 5 with no extended family in sight, it's also a necessity. However, it also means you're going to have a pretty mundane job. Ask anyone and you know that I have a pretty strong personality. I need creativity and passion, I need to make a difference in the lives of others, I need to get excited about things. I have made excuses for not getting back into journalism for long enough - I need to get a job that actually suits ME, while also maintaining some sort of family balance - It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out....

The lonely Polyp

Polyp (PAH-lip): An extra piece of tissue that grows inside the body.

I had the pleasure of undergoing a colonoscopy this past week. For those of you who don't know what this entails, I'll spare you the details and just say that it's a real pain in the ass (wow - I am TOO funny). I lost my mom when she was only 40 to colon cancer and it's one of those tricky cancers where you could show no real symptoms for years so I decided I'm not taking that chance. I had my first "scope" last year, where the doctor discovered a "large number" (like too many to count) of polyps in my large intestine. Yes I was pretty freaked out, even with the doctor's assurance that all the polyps were tiny and hyperplatic (would not evolve into scary cancer-monsters). I worried that I had that Familial Polyposis condition that seals the deal you will get cancer, or that any one of my tiny polyps would mutate at any time. I was anxious to hear the results in my follow-up this year. I was put under during the scope (thank god in heaven) so I too drugged up to be anxious while my husband talked to the doctor on the phone when I woke up. It turns out that he found 1 tiny polyp. All the other ones dissappeared and they removed the one they found but they're certain it's not a big deal (I find out next week for sure). Initially I was pretty skeptical - how hard did the doctor really look? how can polyps just dissappear? Was I abducted by aliens who performed miracle anal surgery? (like I said, I was pretty drugged up). Afterwards, I did some research and found out that not smoking, intense bouts of exercise, weight reduction, a healthy diet and alcohol moderation can all significantly decrease your chances of getting colon cancer. It just so happens that since my last exam, I haven't had 1 cigarette (yes I used to sneak them when I drank), I've drastically cut down on drinking ("not now kids, mommy has a hangover" is not so cool), I've lost 5-10 pounds, ran a half-marathon and kept on running regularly, and cut out a lot of junk food and other bad stuff (see "ode to sugar" below). I will never know if all of this made my polyps dissappear but I have to give credit to the power of taking care of yourself. Check out
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/colonpolyps_ez/index.htm for more information about polyps or colon cancer in general.

Ode to Cake

In a temporary moment of self-righteous craziness, I decided to give up sugar for lent. I'm not "chritian-ny" (AKA bible-beater) and haven't given up anything for lent in years so I'm not sure what prompted this regrettable decision. One thing's for sure though, you give up a food for the big guy above, just see if you have the guts to cheat. There's no sneaking food in private (which in my house would mean the bathroom and that's kind of gross anyway), there's no making excuses (he's heard 'em all), and there's no thinking "what can it hurt" - ummm, try a life of worrying that St.Peter will meet you at the pearly gates shaking his head saying, "ah,ah,ah...you ate cake during lent, too bad so sad" . Cue floor dropping out from under you and Guns and Roses playing "Welcome to the Jungle" - I am NOT taking that chance (I hate Guns and Roses). But man o man I have been tempted. I have been presented with birthday cake 3 times in the past 4 days. Now I love cake - I REALLY love cake. I would stalk the local bowling alley and crash kids' birthday parties at the chance of a piece of cake "I'm your long-lost aunt Roda - really!". I would buy cake for evey occasion imagineable if I could get away with it - "The water bill came down by $5 this month - cake!!". And I'm not fussy - cream cheese icing, chocolate icing, that crappy shortening icing from the supermarket cheapee cake - I'll eat em all!! So imagine how depressing it was to be offered: An awesome supermarket cake (not crappy) at a birthday party my son attended on Sat. afternoon - of course my kids would only eat half their pieces and proclaim "I'm full!" without a care in the world - unappreciative selfish children. I was then offered a gourmet flourless chocolate cake at an adult birthday party that evening (with gourmet cream sauce and all) - the horror!! By the time the chocolate brownie cake was presented last night at yet another birthday party (does everyone deicde to procreate in...what was 9 months ago....June? - actually that makes sense). I was so ready to give in...I had already made my piece with hearing GnR in the afterlife - it's worth it for a piece of cake. Then my friends and husband announced there were strawberries in the fridge for me - damn bragging to everyone about my goodness!!! so I sulked and ate my strawberries but you know what? Today I must admit I feel stronger for not giving in - I have also gotten some good karma thrown my way (read 2 blogs ago) and maybe I'll just give up sugar forever - or maybe I'll just order the biggest damn Chocolat bunny-shaped cake you've ever seen and gorge myself sick on Easter - That's my "just Desserts."

Uncle Jon

I had a conversation at a party this past weekend that got me thinking and that rarely happens (the thinking part), so I thought I would try and dissect it. I was talking to a nice lady who just moved here from Texas (drawl and all). She works at a local organic market and was going on about how she drinks Diet Coke and doesn't care what the other employees say and would never pay $6 for a pound of organic butter, 'cause it's still bad for y'all, even if it is organic!. Of course, being my passive aggressive self I kind of smiled and nodded along, and then thought of snappy replies on the way home. Now, I have to admit, $6 for butter is freaking insane, but it pretty much sums up how people think here think about organic food - there's price, and the health factor. My brother is an organic farmer (see "uncle Jon" pic at right) and I think he's one of the coolest people because he's doing what he loves and has very strong principles - and yes he's a total hippy that doesn't need material possessions to be happy and we all hate people like that because it makes us realize that WE SO DO!! Anyways... one of his sayings is to vote with your dollar, by buying things that are good for the environment. See, I think that most people don't get that about the food we eat - how it's grown not only affects our bodies, it affects the soil it's planted in, the insects that live in the soil, how cattle are raised and treated, it affects how famers who want to do the right thing are able to transition successfully to organic or self-sustainable farmers. It affects the rural neighbors who don't get a choice whether to breath pesticides or have it seep into their well water and the farm workers who have to continue picking fruit as planes fly overhead and shower them with poison. Now, I wrestle with whether it's better to buy non-organic locally and support my community farm, or buy organic even though it's travelled across the country. I also wrestle with trying to stick to a budget and not foreclosing on my house because I bought all organic groceries last week. So, my advice is to prioritize. The website http://www.deliciousorganics.com/Controversies/toptobuyorg.htm has a list of the top produce to buy organic - the ones with the most pesticides. It's a great starting point that I'm committed to following - and no, butter, is nowhere on the list. Add a comment if there are any other great sites out there -

Ms. Jenkins Goes to Washington....barely!

Here are some pics from my trip to DC! I went on my very first business trip (awww) for Arts Advocacy Day to lobby our congressmen for more arts funding. It was a very cool experience to be on Capitol Hill and walk through the halls of the Legislative Assembly buildings that have been there for hundreds of years (is that right?) and where decisions of utmost importantce have been made (some good some not so hot). I heard awe-inspiring speeches from arts advocates, congressional leaders and even a celebrity or two (check out the pic of me and Chris Klein from "American Pie" above. I never realized the important role arts plays in the lives of children and how to helps bridge gaps and brings communities together. OK enough preaching - the real good part of this story is how I almost didn't even make to DC in the first place!


I met this really cool chick on the plane from Wichita who works for the senate and we hit it off right away. We were both heading to DC so after getting into St.Louis and quickly (remember this folks) checking the status of our flight to DC , we decided that we'd spend the next hour waiting for our flight at Chili's over beer and chips (of course). No, we didn't miss the flight because of this - we got back in plenty of time and waited patiently in the boarding area while our plane was delayed for 30 minutes to board. It wasn't until we had our tickets scanned that we were told (very rudely) that we were waiting for the wrong plane!! See, DC has like 3 airports, and the codes are pretty damn similar. We were waiting in line for the Washington ICT airport, which was boarding at the same time as our ACTUAL flight, (something like Washington IDA). The American Airlines lady was totally horrible and basically told us we were screwed - our real flight had left on time (of course) half an hour ago and there were no more flights headed out that night. We were kind of freaking out at this point but I have this ego complex of thinking everything's like the movies and here comes the exciting part where I find a loophole and save both our collective butts. Sure enough, we found out that Southwest actually had a flight leaving in an hour - BUT they were at a seperate terminal that required taking a subway, running through the terminal building and pretty much undressing en-route to security - oh yeah, all while booking the flight on my cell phone with Southwest. We made it with minutes to spare and all I could say was "Man...that was brilliant!" Shout out to Southwest - you are the best!! - American Airlines Sucks!!!